BE BACK SOON!!

EMMY AWARDS-Liveblog-Hour 3

10:03-Jimmy Fallon funny business.

10:04-I did not realize that there was an Original Lyrics category. Really? Really? Did they create this category just so that Flight of the Conchords could win something? Justin Timberlake is on 2 of the nominated skits but, alas, the Academy Awards telecast won.

10:08-Any time Ricky Gervais is on any program, ever, for any reason, is a very good thing. He is still funny as shit. 'The Daily Show'(which I love) won for something. Exactly what, I wasn't paying attention to. I was too busy listening to Ricky's funny spiel.

10:17-The final category is up: Drama.

10:21-As you have probably noticed, I am not blogging about any of the categories or winners that I do not care about. How is it, you ask, that I do not care about any of the Supporting Actor/Actress Nominees or their shows. Well, you see, I do not watch any of the shows that any of these performers are on. So, the results mean nothing to me. So sorry. The only other thing I can say is that, for some reason, the acceptance speech that the guy from 'Lost' made really annoyed me.

10:24-Proving what we have always known, Sarah MacLachlan is a sad sack. Yes, she is singing as they show the In Memoriam scroll. So many wonderfully talented people have passed in the past year. Henry Gibson, Karl Malden, Eartha Kitt, Dom DeLuise, Robert Prosky, Ron Silver, Natasha Richardson, David Carradine, Beatrice Arthur, Ricardo Montalban, Ed McMahon, Larry Gelbart, PAUL NEWMAN, Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze, Don Hewitt, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite...to name just some of them.

10:34-David Boreanaz. Excuse me while I gape. Oh, yeah, guest actor/actress in a Drama. Ahem. Ellen Burstyn and Michael J. Fox. She always looks so regal in her drapey dresses.

10:40-Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama is kind of dominated by Oscar winning,movie star refugees. I mean, Glenn Close, Sally Field, Holly Hunter....proving that film and television really are not separate realms.

10:42-Insert overly earnest speech by Glenn Close. I really loathe acceptance speeches.

10:49-I am growing weary. They need to pick up the pace so that this baby ends on time.

10:53-Now we are getting somewhere. 2 to go. Bob Newhart is on. It is always a good sign when they bring out the big guns. He is presenting the Outstanding Comedy Series. 6 minutes and counting. Come on people. Funny joke about 'Weeds'. There are excellent nominees this year but, of course, '30 Rock' strikes again. I'm sorry but I just don't think that it is that funny. Funny, yes. THAT FUNNY, no. But that is just me.

11:01-FINAL AWARD-Outstanding Drama Series. The only nominated show that I watch is 'House' so this is a pretty unexciting category for me this year. 'Mad Men' has won for the 2nd year. Meh.

EMMY AWARDS-Liveblog-Hour 2

9:07-Tracy Morgan presenting the Best Reality Competition award. 'The Amazing Race'. Has any reality show beaten 'The Amazing Race'? They seem to win every time. When an acceptance speech begins with "I don't know what to say anymore" you know you have won enough. Of course, quality reality programming is difficult to come by so, from that stand-point, it is well-deserved.

9:10-It did not take long to exhaust the Reality category. It is on to Movies and Mini-Series.

9:12-Aw, happily marrieds Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick are presenting Outstanding Supporting Actress in a MoM. And the Emmy goes to...Iranian actress Shohreh Aghdashloo for 'House of Saddam'. Other than everyone's favourite stand-by, black, blue is definitely the colour of the evening. She is wearing a beautiful classic Hollywood dress in gorgeous dark blue. She had a lovely moment when, upon taking the stage, she paused and gazed out at the audience. Genuine, unscripted moments are so rare on these shows.

9:15-Outstanding Supporting Actor in a MOM is Ken Howard for 'Grey Gardens'. Surprisingly, this was his first nomination.

9:23-Outstanding Lead Actor in a MOM goes to-Brendan Gleeson for 'Into the Storm'. He's basically an unheard of Irishman. Maybe this award will change that.

9:26-Oh, those Arquettes and their wacky fashion choices. Patricia has jumped on the whole poufy, one-shouldered dress trend. However, her pouf is just too damn large. The shiny, scaly black fabric is just unfortunate. It really does not matter what award you are handing out when you are dressed like that. This sucks for the recipient.

9:34-Outstanding Lead Actress in a MOM (presented by Alec Baldwin)-Jessica Lange for 'Grey Gardens'. I'm happy with this but I was really hoping that Drew would win for playing her daughter. She looks fantastic--she really brought the bombshell with her tonight. She is one of the few actresses rocking green--rather surprising as it is one of the hottest colours for autumn.

9:43-Outstanding Made for Television Movie-Co-presenter Anna Torv's dress is stunning--pinkish-red, sparkly, with short-sleeves and a classic plunging neck-line. It is entirely different than any other dress of the evening. 'Grey Gardens' won. This makes me immensely happy.

9:45-Outstanding Mini-Series-'Little Dorrit'. Anything adapted from Dickens is okay with me. My big question is, however, why have 2 presenters when only the female is allowed to speak? Kiefer Southerland co-presented the last 2 awards with Anna Torv and she got all of the juicy bits...basically everything. Is this akin to opening the door for a woman. It has always somewhat confused me in this context.

9:48-Up now: Variety.

9:50-The cast of the Big Bang Theory. Love them, love their show. Don't care about the category they are presenting...it simply is not worth the time it would take for me to type it out.

9:55-I have always adored the little skits the shows in question come up with for the variety show writing category. It is usually one of the funniest parts of the telecast. No exception this year. ('The Daily Show' won, by the way.)

EMMY AWARDS-Liveblog-Hour 1

Neil Patrick Harris is a couple of weeks older than me so, yes, I grew up with everyone's favourite kid doctor, Doogie Howser. I did not have a crush on him because, when we were 16, he looked 12 (although so did I). However, he has grown up to be one of my favourite contemporary actors. I am looking forward to his hosting gig tonight. Do me proud, Doogie, do me proud.

8:02-White tuxedo jacket. Singing. Very cool old-school opener.

8:07-First Kanye West joke of the evening.

8:08-The show is being presented in 5 different genre segments. First up? Comedy.

8:11-11 minutes in and they are presenting an award. Whoo-hoo! Tina Fey and Jon Hamm. Tina is in black. Arg! Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. Some unfunny business with Jon Hamm, nicknames, the nominees, and glasses. Whatever. Kristin Chenoweth for the defunct 'Pushing Daisies'wins. She is clad in a sparkly metallic mini-dress.She is perhaps the only actress on TV shorter than me. Yes, petite girls rule. Two seconds into her speech and she is a crying mess. Aww!

8:16-Cut to break. This is why these shows almost always run late.

8:23-30 Rock=Best Writing in a Comedy. Shocking, as they had nearly all of the nominations in the category.

8:26-Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series-Jon Cryer 'Two and a Half Men'. Someone not from 'Entourage' or '30 Rock' is fine by me.

8:28-Wow, a commercial!

8:34-Justin Timberlake presents the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. I am totally indifferent to the results of this one. Sorry, ladies, but this one is all the same to me. Toni Colette wins for 'The United States of Tara'. At least the voters went down a different path with this one. Kudos to that.

8:40-Recap of the previously awarded Guest actor/actress in a comedy (Justin Timberlake and Tina Fey).They are allowed to speak. What is the point of awarding it in the previous, un-televised ceremony if they give them air time on the main show, anyway?

8:42-Directing for a Comedy Series-Jeffrey Blitz for 'The Office'.

8:50-Rob Lowe presenting Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. I am thrilled that Jim Parsons of Big Bang Theory is nominated. That is surely as far as he will get this year but I love that he made the list! Alec Baldwin wins. Again. Have I yet stated how sick I am of '3o Rock'? I haven't? I guess I will save that for the Outstanding Comedy Series part.

8:55-Time to genre-switch. The next theme is Reality.

8:57-Dance number courtesy of Maxsim and Karina of 'Dancing with the Stars'. Time to put the kettle on.

8:59-Outstanding Reality Host-Jeff Probst of 'Survivor'.

EMMY AWARDS-RED CARPET-LIVEBOG -Hour 2

7:00-Amy Poehler. Black. Strapless. At least her gown has an interesting silver detail around the bust.

7:01-Kaley Cuoco. I finally got a better look at her red-gold metallic number. It is like liquid and is quite lovely and sexy without being over the top. Perhaps I am prejudice since I love her show. Nah, the dress really is all that.

7:03-Wow! Not black! Thank you Vanessa Williams in a turquoise, old-Hollywood number.

7:04-Dove grey is a very hard colour to pull off but Kate Walsh does it very well.

7:05-Sandra Oh's strapless, pale gold dress is perfect. I really love her crazy, fashionista footwear choice: red shoes. She is one of those women who take risks with their clothes. They don't always pay off, but they did tonight. Bravo!

7:09-Apparently, only white chicks dig vampires. Thanks for that clarification, Nene.

7:10-I want to get a closer look of nominee Rose Byrne's beige-y, lacey, princess number. I just think I might like it. Hopefully, she will oblige by winning so that I can get a better view.

7:14-The Lonely Island guys! I love them--especially Andy Samberg ( one of my not-so-secret crushes).

7:16-E! is scrolling all kinds of trivia and quotes at the bottom of the screen. Only upon reading the words "Blake Lively on the difficulties of being an actor" was I reminded that she does, indeed, act. I have a tendency to confuse her with reality "stars" such as Lauren Conrad or Heidi Montag. So sorry, Blake. Really.

7:19-Kudos to Kyra Sedgwick fo wearing pale pink (alhtough I personally do not like the colour).L'Wren Scott is not one of my favourite designers but Kyra looks lovely.

7:20-'American Idol' judge Kara DioGuardi is wearing a white, flowy, caftan-esque gown that bears closer inspection. They are not making much use of the Glamcam 360 on tv and, when they do, it is kind of odd.It reminds me of the 3D program that Angela on 'Bones' uses to recreate human remains into a life-sized image of the dead person.

7:26-I am entirely impervious to Sarah Silverman's appeal but her dress is not bad. Strapless, dark blue, slightly New Lookish. The worst thing I can say is that it is slightly ill-fitting in the bust.

7:28-Christina Applegate's midnight blue dress is ridiculously gorgeous. It drapes perfectly and has a lovely metallic detail at the waist. This dress can come live in my closet. Please.

7:38-Blake Lively. Low-cut red Versace, great back. Silly pony-tail.

7:39-I love the back of Leighton Meester's dress, even the largish knots at the shoulders. This is definitely a love it or hate it detail. It will be interesting to see how this goes over with all of the critics; either way, I am firmly on the side of it being fabulous. She is also wearing way too much make-up, even for television. Having said that, there is only one Leighton in my life, and that is The Chef. It was very weird to type the name Leighton followed by a last name other than his.

7:41-Hayden Panetierre. Red. Interesting one-shoulder cap-sleeve.

7:42-Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. Strapless teal dress and matching Jimmy Choo heels. She looks ten times better today at nearly 50 than she did when on 'Seinfeld'. Her favourite body part? Her "big nose". Least? Her pinkie toes.

7:48-Boy bands? bad. Justin Timberlake? Very, very good. His turns on SNL are always hilarious; his guest actor Emmy was well-deserved.

EMMY AWARDS RED CARPET-LIVEBLOG-Hour 1

E!Entertainment's Red Carpet with Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic

6:00-6:02-I can really do without Ryan Seacrest's poetic Red Carpet foreplay. Get to the good stuff. Please.

6:02-20 Cameras! Glamcam 360! Autograph cam! Celebrity tweets!Okay, the Glamcam 360 has awesome potential. It allows you to see all aspects of an ensemble, which can be really useful to people like me.

6:03-Why, oh why, is Nene from RHOA attached to Jay Manuel's hip? Granted, she is probably the least annoying Real Housewife of anywhere, but still. First up? Kourtney "the pregnant one" Kardashian. In full-on pregnancy black.

6:06-Heidi Klum. Also pregnant. Also in black--skin-tight, beaded, strapless Marchesa (one of my favourite, exquisite over-priced labels). Her husband, Seal, had no idea who he was wearing. He just threw on a suit. The personal-space defying, handsy Ryan got to the bottom of it....Costume National.

6:20-I love Jason Segal, even though he is the king of the bromance (confession: I have seen 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' at least 8 times).

6:22-I care not one whit for LL Cool J's NCIS spinoff but, 20 years after he captured my teenage heart, he remains man candy...even while wearing a goofy and entirely inappropriate hat with his otherwise classic tuxedo.

6:23-Seth MacFarlane. Man. Tux. Please move on to the women. This is the only reason that we watch the Red Carpet.

6:24-MacFarlane just dropped the F-bomb on live television. I take it all back.

6:25-Forget Megan Fox. Please. Olivia Wilde is the sexiest woman in Hollywood. They just glam-cammed her dress but I really want to see it up close.

6:26-I will never get acclimated to seeing Jamie Kennedy with Jennifer Love Hewitt. This is only slightly better than Mila Kunis with Macauley Culkin.

6:28-Allyson Hannigan. Vera Wang. Strapless. Black. Chopard jewels. I am seeing a theme and methinks I don't like it (although I like the tiered, sweepy effect of the skirt).

6:31-Can I please be Mariska Hargitay when I grow up? Pretty please.

6:32-Jenna Fischer. Beaded. Strapless. Black. Very much a skinny-girl version of Heidi Klum's Marchesa gown.

6:38-Jami-Lynn Siglar. I love the classic, clingy drapiness of her dress but I am not digging the beige-gold non-colour. Ryan is being creepy about her love life. This is never good, Ryan. No one is that interested.

6:41-Why, oh why, is there always someone trying to be nonchalant and ironic at every awards show? It never translates the way that they hope it will. Tonight, that idiot is Judah Friedlander of 30 Rock. Please leave the douchiness at home, along with the ball cap and sloppy outfit.

6: 46-Tracy Pollan. She is wearing a Carolina Herrera that critics will love or hate for its neon lime-green colour. I personally love the unusual, ballsy shade as well as the ruffly details around the bosom. Gorgeous!

6:50-A word to Jay Manuel about glass houses: with that appalling excuse for a tux you are sporting on the red carpet, I had better not see you snarking on badly-dressed Emmy Awards attendees tomorrow. His suit defies explanation. My advice to you is to Google it so that you can see it in all of its oddness.

My Imaginary Red Carpet Outfit

Red Carpet by amisslis featuring Notte by Marchesa dresses

Crowded

It will probably come as no great surprise that my newest 'zine is responsible for my shameful lack of posts. I am devoting most of my non-sleeping/working time to writing, compiling, and editing everything. I am thrilled to have wonderful contributors to the enterprise. Unfortunately, having wonderful contributors means more leg-work for me. Ah, well, it is a very small and easy price to pay for having a well-rounded publication. It is shaping up to be at least 100 pages. That's right: no kitchen-table affair, this. It involves major work and I love every second of the whole thing. I expect it to be out the first week of October. This means that the next two weeks will be full of hair-pulling, foot-stomping insanity as I race to the finish.
I will try to post as much as I can here, although it will be tough. As soon as the lovely, magical, amazing 'zine is out, the long-touted, much-deferred new look of 1000 Follies will debut. Honestly.
Until then, I hope that you enjoy whatever creative crumbs I manage to throw your way, starting with a Liveblog of the Emmy Awards Ceremony tonight.

I Cannot Resist a Literary-Minded Quiz

Take the Quiz here!

A One Paragraph Tribute to Henry Gibson-1935-2009

I love Henry Gibson. I have loved Henry Gibson since I first caught an episode of 'Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In' on Nick at Nite or TV Land back when I was a teenager. In the twenty years since, I have loved him in everything in which he ever appeared, from the classic flick 'Nashville' to television's 'Boston Legal'. I found him, perhaps inexplicably, utterly mesmerising as a performer: start to finish, if he was on camera, my eyes were on him. His was a quirky yet versatile talent, the kind that the entertainment industry no longer produces. He will be missed.

Goodbye, Henry!

Grace Kelly

14 September 2009-Reading List

I just don't seem to have much time for reading these days. Creatively, it is a great thing because that means I have been writing up a storm. Recreationally speaking, I will not mince words: it sucks. It really does. Yet, I understand that it is part of the ebb and flow of the artistic process. This does not mean that I have stopped dreaming of books. Oh, no! In fact, it means that I think about them all of the time. Each new catalogue is greeted like a long lost friend. I have a growing mound of enticing catalogues, from Daedalus to Bas Bleu, almost always at hand. I'm going to share with you a few of the books that are currently intriguing me.

1. Fallen Angels by Harold Bloom, Mark Podwall, illus. (YALE)Written by the reigning Titan of literary criticism, it explores the concept of fallen angels in books, art, and modern society.
2. Affairs and Scandals in Ancient Egypt by Pascal Vernus (CORNELL)Bad behaviour among the ruling classes is definitely not a modern phenomenon. This book is proof that the elite have always engaged in tabloid-worthy shenanigans.
3. Ermengard of Narbonne and the World of the Troubadors by Frederic L. Cheyette (CORNELL) A life of the female ruler and troubadors' darling.
4. Jean-Jacques Rousseau: Restless Genius by Leo Damrosch (MARINER)I appear to be in a biographical mood but this definitely appears to be a tasty read, at least if you are into JJR.
5. Medieval Schools From Roaman Britain to Renaissance England by Nicholas Ormer (YALE) For the Anglophile-History geek residing in me...yes, these are two of my very favourite things.
6. Darwin: The Indelible Stamp The Evolution of an Idea James D. Watson, Ed. (RUNNING PRESS) A collection of the great man's still fascinating and relevant works.
7. Infinite Ascent A Short History of Mathematics by David Berlinski (WEIDENFELD & NICHOLSON) I am a lit-geek. Math has never particularly been my cup of tea. Yet, there is something indescribably alluring about this relatively short volume (a scant 197 pages). Is it high enough on my list to purchase? Probably not. I do see myself checking this out from the library, though.
8. Thoreau and the Art of Life Precepts and Principles Roderick MacIver, Ed. and Illus. (HERON DANCE) Thoreau was a strange man, an individualist of the variety that only 19th-Century America could produce. His words still care the weight and heave of truth.
9. Colette by Julie Kristeva. Jane Marie Todd, Trans. (COLUMBIA UNIV. PRESS) Colette remains one of the most engaging and maddening of all literary females. She was resolutely unconventional in most respects--which is quite appealing--and gratingly offensive to modern sensibilities in others. And, always, there is the singular writing.
10. Voices from the World of Jane Austen by Malcolm Day (DAVID & CHARLES) This volume looks into the lives of some of Austen's famous contemporaries, especially those with different experiences and world-views than that of England's most enduring and famous female author.
11. Consequences of Sin by Claire Langley-Hawthorne (VIKING) A period (Edwardian) murder mystery with an appealing-sounding heiress at its heart.
12. My Life in France by Julia Child & Alex Prud'homme (ANCHOR) I am already mildly sick of the 'Julie and Julia' craze. I admit that Julie Powell's writing and flat personality do very little for me. This posthumously published autobiography is more my style: part France, part food, part love-story.
13. Victorian and Edwardian Architecture by Derek Avery (CHAUCER PRESS)I have a slight obsession with decadent, lush coffee table books such as this.
14. Hemingway and Bailey's Bartending Guide to Great American Writers by Mark Bailey, Edward Hemingway, illus. (ALGONQUIN) One of my biggest passions is dead writers. I am also a trained bartender (oops, sorry, mixologist) so this book is quite the thing for me. And, yes, Edward is a real Hemingway (Papa's grandson).

'zining Madness

The secret behind the lack of posts recently? I've been 'zining. I am in the closing stages of putting my newest 'zine together. Yes, this is where I bring out the cliched phrases such as "eyes on the prize" and "light at the end of the tunnel". The pace is picking up and I am becoming quite the excited little creator.
1000 Follies' makeover will be up this coming Monday. For real. I promise. As for the 'zine? It will be available in approximately 3 weeks. I will be dropping hints between now and then.
I will also post 2 or 3 regular pieces here, prior to the official Monday unveiling. Deep breath, people. The wait is almost over.

Cameron Mitchell-Hollywood Journeyman

Cameron Mitchell (1918-1994) was a fine and enduring triple-medium actor. His stardom never rose to the upper echelons of the Hollywood firmament, thus denying him status as a true legend. His carelessness in accepting too many film role after the breakdown in the Studio System, most of them in mediocre disaster or action flicks, was a further deterrent. The Seventies alone saw him in such painful fare as 'The Swarm' (1978) and 'Flood!' (1976). Although his roles were limited, from middle-age on, to parts in quickly-forgotten films, his talent and charisma remained strong.

From the boards of Broadway, where he originated the part of 'Happy' in Arthur Miller's 'Death of a Salesman', to the siren's call of studio-era Hollywood, he re-emerged in the 1960's on the vastest medium of all, television, to become a bona-fide star on 'The High Chaparral'.

During his Hollywood heyday, he starred opposite such diverse talent as Marlon Brando and Doris Day, Marilyn Monroe and James Cagney. For some 5 decades he brought grit, sincerity, and well-modulated ability to a surprising array of roles. Armed with a particularly agreeable macho charm, he was a natural in Westerns and all manner of outdoorsy adventures. Never a one-note actor, he also shone in flimsy comedies (opposite that trio of gold-digging lovelies Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, and Betty Grable in 'How to Marry a Millionaire'-1953) and musicals (starring in the classic 'Carousel' opposite Shirley Jones and Gordon MacRae-1956). He was even at home in costume dramas ('Desiree' with Brando and Jean Simmons-1954).

From 1967-1971 he starred with Leif Erickson on the immensely popular television series 'The High Chaparral'. A few years later he was back on TV as a castaway on the short-lived 'Swiss Family Robinson' with Martin Milner and future Oscar-winner Helen Hunt.

Like many character actors, he chiseled out a long career in a wide spectrum of films. In later years, production quality was often an issue, as was distribution. (Who today has heard of, much less seen, 'Slavers' or 'Rage to Kill'). He also managed dozens of guest appearances on TV. His talent and obvious dedication to his chosen craft remained strong as he worked, one way or another, until the end. In a sense, as a true journeyman, he went where the work took him.

September's Song

September's Song by amisslis featuring Rick Owens

Progress Report

I realize, my fine readers, that I have been doing more updating than writing recently. Shame on me! I have already pushed back unveiling the new blog once and, alas, I am about to do it a second time. It will now be up on Sunday as, on closer reflection, I realized that I really need to start it at the beginning of a week and not on the first of the month. Sit tight--I promise you it will be worth the wait!

Header

Say hello to the new header. Yes, the changes have started! The new look will be up Tuesday evening. I am really excited to debut the improved 1000 Follies, which will be a lot more cohesive. Until then, take care!

NEW LOOK!! DAILY CONTENT!!MORE TO LOVE!!

1000 Follies is about to become bigger, better, shinier and, well, a lot more reliable! In my non-Internet life, I am extremely organized. I love deciding where things belong, and putting them there. While I believe that people cannot be regimented, projects can...and this one is about to be, in a way that I think you will really dig.
1000 Follies will be divided into 7 weekly segments. In other words, each day of the week will have its own theme, which that day's posts will revolve around. The themes will not change from week to week. Additionally, there will be 6 or 7 smaller features which will appear daily. Got it? I know, I know....it is a lot to take in. You will just have to come back on Sunday, when the new look debuts. You will have to wait and see what the Sunday theme is. Until then, I will post a few odds and ends.

Finis

Joe Strummer-Happy Birthday!

Raise a Toast (to Absent Friends)

"Raise a toast to St. Joe Strummer/I think he might've been our only decent teacher."-"Constructive Summer", The Hold Steady.

I am not writing a lengthy post tonight. I am not working on a story or a review. I am not going to go all literary on you; I'll save that for tomorrow. Business as usual can wait a day. No, tonight I am sitting in my living room, listening to The Clash and drinking a glass of Vodka. That sums up the course of my entire night.

Joe Strummer--one of music's great poets--was born on this date in 1952. He would have been 57. I have raised a toast. Now I am going to down my glass and listen to some more intelligent punk-rock philosophy. Salud!

Changes

For anyone interested, I will be moving my (untitled) fiction serial over to 'A Small Press Life', as I believe it is a better fit there. I will be re-running it before adding the next installment.
I am also thrilled to announce that I have a second blogger writing for me on ASPL. His name is KM Scott. Please take a quick trip over there to check out his stuff and give him a warm welcome. He would really appreciate it.
If you have not been on the other site, I suggest that, in the words of The Chef, you "do it! Do it now!". If you are a writer or any type of creative, you will find something to love there. I promise.
Also, I will be announcing some fabulous new changes to 1000 Follies some time in the next few days. The changes will actually give you more to love, more often. Rest assured, nothing is going away!

Television Shows I (Still) Do Not Give a Fig About

I am incredibly strong-willed. I know my own mind. Oh, and I really hate being told what to do, think, like, or watch. This means that I sometimes have a difficult relationship with the media. The Fall television season is nearly upon us; ads for shows new and returning are inundating TV screens across the country. No matter how hard they try-to brain-wash me into liking, or at least tolerating, their wares there are simply some shows that I just do not care about. Including the following:

1. Real Housewives of.....Anywhere
2. Gossip Girl/NYC Prep/90210
3. Lost
4. Desperate Housewives
5. Big Brother/The Bachelorette
6. Mad Men
7. Entourage
8. Grey's Anatomy
9. Dancing with the Stars
10. America's Next Top Model
11. Heroes

And some that I am actually looking forward to:

1. Top Gear
2. Bones
3. Lie to Me
4. House
5. Fringe
6. Big Bang Theory/How I Met Your Mother
7. Project Runway

"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."-A.A. Milne (the father of Pooh Bear and Eeyore)

Quite Possibly The Chef's Worst Nightmare

Courtesy of pophangover.com.

Toddlers and Tiaras: or, My Weekly Rant

Last night, I made the mistake of not turning the television channel fast enough after "What Not to Wear" ended. This resulted in the 6 most disturbing minutes of my life. Thanks, TLC, I owe you one. I knew, prior to 10 PM Friday night, that "Toddlers and Tiaras" existed. 'Jezebel' does a grand job of mocking and excoriating just about everyone involved with this show. Normally, I skim through the current post, laugh and move on to something of actual intellectual or artistic interest. First off, I must lay the brightest and leafiest of laurels around the neck of the 'Jezebel' writer who actually makes it through an entire episode. I wanted to stab hot needles into my eyes after 6 minutes. Quit pissing me off, pop culture world, and I can go back to writing about books and old movies. Deal?
This particular episode followed the contestants of the Universal Royalty pageant in Texas. Among the tots fighting it out for various crowns and titles? Fraternal twin girls and a 2-week-old boy. Yes, a two-week old destined, I am sure, to be an old pro by elementary school, just like his big brother. (That same big brother supplied the only moment of relief in the entire, condensed train-wreck when he stated that he is going to compete in pageants "until I am in my graveyard.")
There are only 3 reasons that parents enroll their (sometimes) absurdly young children in pageants. 1)For bragging rights 2)For money and 3)To live vicariously. Reason number three is, by the looks of the parents,the prevalent factor: this set of pageant moms is just about the ugliest group of women I have ever seen. If my DVR guide had not told me that this episode is from 2009, I would have thought that it was filmed back in 1987. In a town of particularly hideous inhabitants, where in-breeding was the norm.Harsh? Given that these women (and, occasionally, men) tart their largely unwilling children up to look like aging five-dollar whores and parade them around in show-girl costumes all for the thrill of victory, a chunk of change and a gaudy tiara and sash.....no, I think not.
In case anyone needs further proof that these women are in it for themselves,and care not one whit for the self-esteem of their kids, I present to you the following: the fraternal twins' mother. In spite of a lame attempt to come off as impartial, she favours the out-going, "pretty" twin who, she says, looks "just like me" (which, if this were true, would be most unfortunate). Now, neither girl is a raving beauty but, at 6 years old, this should not be the remotest consideration.Instead, the "plain" daughter (who is, if a judgment must be made, actually prettier) is withdrawn while her "pretty" sister is outgoing. The mother, naturally, sees no corollary between her treatment of them and their personalities. What it comes down to for her, and by extension all 5 of her girls (yes, they all compete), is that pretty-twin wins more titles than plain-twin. Pretty and outgoing=more trophies, more attention. Plain and shy=fewer trophies, less attention. Such a lovely lesson to teach your kids,especially impressionable girls.
There is so much pressure for females to be pretty, perfect, pleasant and outgoing. Once it starts, it follows us all of our lives; we buy into it more than men do. Why should we thrust kids into that process before they can even walk?
Now, I firmly believe that adults should pretty much be allowed to do whatever they want, however bizarre, silly or unfathomable it may be to others. The only caveat, of course, is that it does not harm anyone else. Pageants that, unintentionally or not, prematurely sexualize little ones are just not a good idea. If you are a parent into this kind of thing, you should really step back and honestly ask yourself why you make your kids sing for their supper and your love in such an appalling manner. The rest of us already know that it is not for them, but for you: perhaps you should find a way to pump up your self-esteem before, however inadvertently, destroying theirs. End of rant.

Austen Family Cooks: Snickerdoodles

Okay, so recipes for Snickerdoodles are not that hard to come by. I really love eating these cookies, enjoy making them even more and, at the top of the list, thoroughly love converting people. Apparently, some of you are scared of them. I once had a fellow menswear specialist (this was in another life, seemingly) rave about those "short-bread-y cookies with the sugar and cinnamon on top" that I gave to everyone on the floor. He had no idea that what he was eating was a snickerdoodle. I seldom brag about such things but I happen to have extra-special Snickerdoodle baking ability; mine always taste better than anyone else's.
Snickerdoodles are perfect paired with a cuppa or, if you must, some coffee. Don't let the Cream of Tartar scare you--it is, of course, what gives these cookies their bite and lightness. If it wasn't for these cookies, COT would only be employed part-time to fluff up eggs. Have mercy and make some Snickerdoodles today!

SNICKERDOODLES

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 3/4 cups flour
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cinnamon

Thoroughly mix butter, shortening, sugar and eggs. Blend in flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt. Shape dough into balls. Roll balls into sugar/cinnamon mixture. Bake for 8-10 minutes @ 400 degrees. YUM!!

Obsessive Summer: My Current Addictions

I have been quite the busy writer this Summer. I have a tub-full of ideas swimming around in my mind--many of which are actually reaching fruition. Lest you think that I am chained to my writing desk 20 1/2 hours a day, I thought that I would entertain you with a list of how I am spending my free-time this lovely season. While there are currently 9,000 or so things that I would love to try/do/enjoy, my leisure spells are a bit limited. The following is what I am digging the most right now....and some of them are quite stellar!

1. Amado Sur Wine-It is a heavenly Malbec blend. I am sorry Toasted Head Cabernet but you have been unceremoniously relegated to second place in my affections. Deal with it.
2. Daisy of Love (on VH1)-This one might require some explaining--a vast amount of explaining. It is a strange addiction.It was embarrassing at first to find oneself actually looking forward to this reality show. Daisy De La Hoya was a contestant on 'Rock of Love' last year (which I saw, perhaps, twice). She is not particularly pretty, has more fake than genuine body parts, and is not as stupid as you want her to be. Yes, she is genuinely endearing in a contrived, faux-celebrity way. If that is not reason enough to watch, it features Riki Rachtman (he of MTV's Headbangers Ball) as some sort of mentor/voice of reason and a slew of ridiculous potential 'love' matches. As with most VH1 reality programs, they were gifted with nicknames during the first episode. Although the season finale aired on the 26th, check out the repeats to become acquainted with such winners as Twelve Pack, Cable Guy, Dropout, Fox and, um, Six Gauge.
3. Colin Hay-This one is bound to redeem my taste. I still have not come down from the Colin Hay concert that I was taken to (as a surprise) for my birthday last month. Yes, that Colin Hay....he was the lead singer of 'Men at Work'. His career has really blossomed in the last 15 years or so, as he has embraced a more low-key troubadour style. He travels around doing acoustic shows that perfectly highlight his wonderful voice and exceptional song-writing skills. His tenth solo album drops on the 19th of this month. Buy it!
4. Pastry Crust-I don't think there is one among you not aware of my newly-discovered pie-making skills. I have also been on an empanada making spree, which I use a slightly different recipe for. I love making pastry because it is so physically hands-on and comes with almost instant results (and reward)--making it much different than writing.
5. Farm Town on FACEBOOK-Okay, so I am just about the least-country person imaginable. I am urban to the core. I have no desire to relocate to the sticks, milk cows and raise crops. Yet, none of those things stops this silly application from being absolutely addicting.
6. Tattoos-Specifically the tattoo that I will be getting some time soon (that is the plan, anyway). As soon as I decide where to have it done. Me being me, it is literary in nature--my preferred translation of a line of Pablo Neruda's poetry. Want to know what it is? Just ask!
7. The Golden Girls-This is nothing new but I have been enjoying the extended Monday and Saturday evening marathons on We. Enough said.
8. Social Networking-This is something of a necessary evil for anyone who does free-lance work. The need to market myself means that I must be super-organized so that I don't spread myself too thin. I just joined 'Thirty-Something Bloggers' a few days ago. It is not a particularly high-traffic network but, as such, it won't be too taxing on my time. It is passive self-pimping, really. Add in FACEBOOK and Plaxo and ETSY and I have a nicely growing little professional network.
9. Eva Cassidy-I am still loving her version of 'Fields of Gold'. It instantly puts me in a serene mood, much as 'Beautiful World' by Colin Hay does. I can easily listen to it 3 or 4 times in a row.
10. Chicken Lays an Egg-This one is Cincinnati-centric. In fact,it is about 2 blocks from my flat. It is a closet-sized vintage hodge-podge of a shop that is slightly out of place in my very industrial neighborhood. It opened last Autumn, and only does business on Saturdays. They have the most tempting window and sidewalk displays. Since it is so compact, you do not have to waste hours going through rack after rack of crap in an effort to find one or two gems.
11. Proust-I have always enjoyed flipping open any Proust book and reading random pages. Though apparently not for everyone, Proust created some of the most sublime sentences in any language. I truly believe this...and not just because I had the good taste to be born on the good man's birthday!
12. The 1920's-I have always been a history buff. When you mix that with my love of classic film, retro pop culture, feminism and fashion, the result is that, at heart, I am a neo-Flapper. I re-discovered the delightful Nancy Carroll a couple of months ago (entirely coincidentally, I am currently sporting a dead-on NC hairstyle), which helped me fall in amour with my favourite decade all over again.
13. Radiation Cinema-Science Fiction has never been my cup of tea. Yet, after working for a sci-fi based magazine (and living with a science fiction connoisseur for these last few years)I have found things to appreciate in the genre. I am, however, fond of the bizarre, the outsider, and 1950's films. Enter Mykal Banta's 'Radiation Cinema'. I am not going to spend paragraphs telling you about it(though I surely could). Just trust my recommendation. Aside from the snazzy concept, it is well-written, interesting and visually stunning.
14. Liebemarlene Vintage(EBAY)-This Georgia girl sources out and sells fabulous vintage clothing from the 'forties through the dawn of grunge. She carries an amazing assortment of dresses, all of which start out for the reasonable base bid of $14.99. Her auctions run from Thursday to Thursday. I currently have my eyes on a darling green day dress from the 'seventies. Wish me luck!
15. 'Zining-I love the hands-on, tactile aspect of 'zining. I am in the race-to-the finish of compiling my next offering. I am doing updates on the process over on my other site, 'A Small Press Life'. Since this is a professional endeavour, it probably should not have a place on this list....but I am having such feverish fun that sometimes it feels like I am playing!
16. My Creative Philosophy-I am quite passionate about living a small press life. I am an indie artist all of the way-consciously, happily and without regret. I am overjoyed every day that I am allowed to wake up and do what I do, and thankful that there are people who think it is interesting, intriguing or beautiful. Thanks!

Too Tired to Write Tonight....So I Am Dreaming About Sparkly Things Instead

Sparkly Things by amisslis featuring Rebecca Taylor dresses

Up in Arms: Another Inane Media Brouhaha

It has been a few months since I have felt such a burning need to go on a media-sparked tirade. I am going to keep this one short and vitriolic, as I do not wish to add too much to the sheer volume of words already misspent on the subject. Some of you may guess where this is heading. That is correct. I am talking about the wholly manufactured uproar over a photograph--either real, photoshopped, or just a case of 'bad lighting'--of Madonna's creepy arms. Personally, I do not give a fig, a farthing, or a f*** what the culprit is. Is she too thin? Does she work out too much? Was the image unethically altered? Was she, from a lighting standpoint, simply at the wrong angle at the right time? Stop the madness, please.
If we are to believe the whore mongers of the Internet Media Brigade, this is an issue of great and desperate importance--worth any amount of brain cells, eye-sight, and time needed to wade through the complexities to find the truth. In the midst of this absurd scramble to get the scoop--which has nothing to do with honour, professional ethics, or even basic journalistic ability--the bigger picture has been obfuscated: the subject at hand is arms, people, arms. No, not that kind. How silly you must feel if your mind automatically turned to such a declasse subject as weaponry, nuclear or otherwise. Suck it, North Korea: next to the freaky appendages of a celebrity, your attempts to cow America have gone sadly unnoticed this week. Better luck next time.
If you have not given Madonna's physique any thought, beyond laughing hysterically as you passed up the dangled carrot of an AOL or Yahoo headline, then kudos to you--you have a mind that can think independently of TMZ. Let me be clear here: I am not solely an ice-princess intellectual-type. I find pop culture fascinating and addicting, but only up to the point where I can still use my own brain. A little bit of Perez or People goes a long way: I do not buy into this lab-produced fakery wholesale.
The other half of this madness is, of course, being told what it is we should find interesting, important or relevant by people who have built entire careers on the fact that they like to gossip. It has been suggested, with some frequency over the last few years, that we should answer these increasingly obvious and annoying media blitzes with indifference to the current subject (Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Speidi, the Gosselins and so on).It is a fine concept on paper but would only work if rational people ruled the world.
Madonna (and her arms-'o-horror)is just the fetish of the moment. The "story", though currently peppering the Internet like mines in a field, will soon be thrust aside to make way for the next fatuous, media-fueled obsession. Large gestures, unless done collectively by millions, are not likely to work. Doing your part on an intimate scale--simply refusing to click on the headlines or commenting on that sort of blog-article (even a negative comment is attention)--is probably the best that can be done, and is no small thing. Remember: By paying these hacks any heed, we allow mice to become Titans--it is no wonder they have come to rule over us all.

MISSING THE MAGIC....MOVIE MAGIC, THAT IS

I have loved Classic Cinema since my long-ago pre-teen years. I fell hard for its panache, mystery, and glamour. I quickly transferred that instantaneously-ignited passion into something concrete: I trained for the stage and, for a bit, actually trod those New York City boards. Being a writer is a considerably better fit for my creativity, love of language, and control-freak tendencies. Eventually, I started writing about Golden Age film and its shining stars. Although it only fills up a small part of my resume, cinema is one of my favourite article/review subjects.

It occurred to me, out of nowhere this evening, that I have not, of late, dedicated much thought, blog, or column space to this great passion of mine. I have so many balls up in the air that I let this one fall without quite realizing it: and I MISS it! I have been so busy with all manner of things personal and professional that I have not even watched a single old movie for...well, I was going to type "weeks" but, to be honest, it could be months. See, I am not even sure how long it has been.

Now that I have pondered the subject for an hour or two, I am beginning to realize how much impact the flickers have on my day-to-day life. Their visual impact has run the deepest. I have: been inspired to try Flapper hairstyles and 'forties silhouettes; picked up a handful of interesting retro pastimes;learned to thoroughly enjoy listening to crooners;nicely rounded out my vocabulary to include something less than the Queen's English;decorated a room based on a film set; become quite the quirky hostess.
Writing on classic cinema is my small way of giving back to an art form that has enriched my life in countless ways. I think that I am going to make a date with TCM this weekend, just the two of us....and some old friends.
The point to all of this? I promise to be a good girl and post a movie-friendly post at least once a week!

Reading List: Fictional Dreaming

I received an unusually compact little Daedalus Books catalogue in the post last week. Upon opening it, I was delighted to discover that it is a fiction-only edition. Like many creative writers, I cannot bring myself to read novels or short-stories when I am waist-deep in my own work. This poses no such problem when I am penning reviews or articles. As I am currently in the midst of two short-stories, I have imposed a fiction ban on my leisure reading. For the near-future, I will be indulging only in writing-craft books, biographies, and history.
This will not stop me from dreaming about some of the fabulous reads contained within that Daedalus Books catalogue.I am, at the moment, intrigued with the following.

1. 54 by Wu Ming (HARCOURT)This novel contains an epic mish-mash of threads. It is set in, naturally, 1954 and features, among many other things, Cary Grant (yes, that Cary Grant). Consider me interested.
2. All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren (HARVEST) I own a copy of this classic novel by one of America's foremost 20th-century poets. I think that I am overdue for a re-read, if only to erase the awful let-down that was the 2006 version of this novel (stick with the original 1949 film, if you must).
3. An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England by Brock Clarke (ALGONQUIN) Fires and Emily Dickinson? Another strange amalgam of seemingly unrelated concepts that I cannot get out of my mind.
4. The Bad Girl by Mario Vargas Llosa (FABER & FABER)This is a recent novel by one of my favourite contemporary writers. It is about a man desperately in love with one woman-in-many incarnations, across many years and continents.
5. The Celestial Omnibus and Other Stories by E.M. Forster (SNOWBOOKS) I am not a fan of Forster's novels. They have never quite worked for me; I did not buy into the epic Merchant Ivory obsession. However, I am open-minded; there is little of value that I will not give a chance to, at least once. I have never read his short stories. This collection houses 6 of them. I am at least interested enough to check this out from the library.
6. The Conjurer: A Martha Beale Mystery by Cordelia Frances Biddle (ST. MARTIN'S) This is set in 1842, with a resourceful and brave heroine at the center of the action: perhaps not very true to the times, but enthralling anyway.
7. A Farewell to Arms and The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (VINTAGE)While I can only take Hemingway's novels in small doses, I still find his compact, to-the-point writing immensely refreshing. 'Arms' reminds me of being 18, and getting caught up in the rather melodramatic love-story between the wounded soldier and resolute nurse. Brett Ashley of 'Sun' is, for me, a less tiring, though more artificial heroine. If you combine every female character in all of Hemingway's canon, you may just squeak by with one well-rounded woman.

A Home of Its Own

Awhile back, I wrote a few articles under the title of "A Small Press Life." This brief series explained the passionate philosophy that is held just behind my creativity. Initially, I planned to make it an ongoing, occasional feature of 1000 Follies. That changed when, in May, I realized that the concept deserved its very own, dedicated space. A Small Press Life can be found at: onetrackmuse.blogspot.com. Click HERE to go directly THERE.
This newer site is one of the reasons that I have not been posting as frequently as you are accustomed to: I have been putting the new blog into place. Well, it is almost there now. It is close enough to what I have envisioned in my head to, at last, tell you about it. ASPL is writer-centric, so there will most likely not be something-for-everyone there.
It is, generally, about the writing life and, specifically, about my own philosophy and creative-path. It is definitely more tightly-focused than what you find here. It is, and will be, full of reviews, inspiration, concept-appropriate sites, products,and professional opportunities. I will profile like-minded writers from the past as well as my contemporaries. There is also a space that will detail my own adventures through the mine-field of the writing life.
Even if you are not a writer, please check it out and, if you can, spread the word to all of your writer friends (and I JUST KNOW that you have them). Thanks!!!!

A Golden Example

Late last night, while watching television from bed, I realized that I can recognize episodes of "The Golden Girls" in a few seconds flat, without benefit of dialogue. This does not make me a specialized savant. It means, simply, that I have seen every episode of the 1980's classic too many times to count, or even estimate. I have been trying, half-heartedly, to write about this show for a few years. That's right, years. What I came up with never seemed quite right. I found no satisfaction in even the opening lines that I composed again and again. The timing was obviously not correct, was premature: the enjoyment and hope that the sitcom has given me over the years would not translate to the page. So, I did what writers do when a piece does not properly synchronize with our intentions. I set it aside, put it away, relegated it to the "maybe I will try again in a few months" corner of my brain.
I dusted the idea off a few months ago when, on my Mother's birthday, Bea Arthur died. I decided not to rush the process but, rather, let it ferment in my creative place; knowing that, this time, it would form itself into what it is meant to be, ripening when it is ready.
"The Golden Girls", which aired from 1985-1992, might seem, on the surface, a strange show to have such a strong cult following, especially among younger women. Yet obsessed we are. I was in Middle School when the show debuted. 24 years later, my mother is still younger than the characters and the actresses who played them. Indeed, my Grandmother was born after all but Rue McLanahan. So, why the fascination?
The generation that The Golden Girls represented was the first to stay young past the age of fifty. They did not have one leg in the grave just because their children were grown and their hair was grey. This is something that we are used to and comfortable with in the 21st-Century, but 25 years ago it was a revelation and wake up call to realize that sex appeal and physical desire do not have to wither. Today's magazines are full of young-looking-and-acting 60-year-olds. There are simply too many to name in this space: it is no longer singular.
"The Golden Girls", then, helped lead this particular revolution, which has been to every woman's advantage, even those of us who have since come of age. It is no secret that the 4 women of "Sex and the City", when put together, represent the varied and complex feminine nature. TGG thought of this angle 2 decades earlier: it is for this reason that the shows have often been compared, with either one or the other found wanting, depending on your viewpoint.
I am exactly who SATC caters to, exactly who they try so hard to draw in. Unfortunately, I see so little of myself in any of the characters that it ultimately fails. True, I am a writer. I love shoes, sex, and booze. Yet, the female bonding strikes me as cold, artificial, and not particularly funny. Not so with those wise-cracking ladies from Miami.
It took the girls a few episodes to find their niche. A cracking-wise gay pool-boy/housecleaner/cook wasn't necessary. Soon, he and the pool were gone, making it possible for the quartet of women to be more relatable, middle-class. They had issues galore, straight out of real-life: there was money trouble, job trouble, family trouble and, oh yes, mighty-mighty man trouble. During those famous late-night talks over cheesecake, they formed a bond tight as any flesh-and-blood family unit.
They put up with a lot but always pulled through, with their friendship and humour intact. Amorous relationships and sex remained highly important in their lives. They waded through much of the same romantic crap as younger women, yet they also had to put up with new sets of challenges. There is an odd comfort in knowing that screwed-up relationships with the opposite sex know no age boundary, that it is not just an affliction of the young. Age may bring wisdom but clear-paths of communication and enlightenment are not guaranteed. Even Sophia, the 80-plus widowed matriarch, was not above getting dolled up for a man; nor did her age offer shelter for a broken heart.
The 4 golden oldies are better, truer representations of the multi-faceted female psyche. Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia cover the bases of what it mean to be a woman.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, played by Bea Arthur, is intelligent, logical, and strong. She is a smart woman who refuses to dumb herself down for a man, knowing that what she has to offer is plentiful and rich. Jokes about her inability, as a bookworm, to get a date for a Saturday night abound; however, she manages to attract her fair share of men. Indeed, she is the only one of the women (besides, briefly, Sophia) to remarry. She dealt with teen pregnancy (her own) and infidelity (her ex-husband's).
Blanche Devereaux, played by Rue McLanahan, is the voracious, not-so-superficial sex-Goddess. The southern belle spends most of her time wooing and winning men into her bed. She is the most obvious proof that sex-appeal can keep on ticking well past your forties; that a vibrant, fun life can be found at any age. While men are always at the forefront of her mind and actions, she ultimately puts friendship first. She is a widow who struggles to maintain the always- fragile relationships with her children and siblings. Her biggest struggle is that of self-image due, to aging and the lasting effects of a woman who always valued her looks above her not inconsiderable abilities.
Rose Nylund, played by Betty White, is the innocent, naive and good-hearted roommate. Known for extolling the virtues of her hometown life (the real St. Olaf, Minnesota)through painfully long-winded and fairy-tale-esque stories, Rose is always hopeful and considerate. This makes her the obvious butt of her friends' jokes. She enjoyed a long and ideal marriage with her late husband. She slowly learns to become a woman-of-the world, as she deals with dating and sex-outside-of-marriage for the first time. Rose suffered a health scare, when it was believed that she could be HIV-positive, and a goofy yet tumultuous relationship with long-time love Miles.
Sophia Petrillo, played by Estelle Getty, is Dorothy's Sicilian-immigrant mother. She is wily, cantankerous, blunt yet nurturing. She joins the household after leaving the nursing home that her daughter put her in after she suffered a stroke. She is the deepest source of wisdom and experience, often treating her roommates like naive children. Although in her eighties, she, too, enjoys a (more sporadic) dating and sex-life, even sharing a beau with Blanche at one point. She proves that the key to staying healthy and vital is curiosity and a strong-engagement with life.
TGG is an entertaining blend of the slapstick and the witty, the absurd and the topical. It covered all of the important issues of the day, without resorting to preachiness or sappiness. Tolerance and understanding exist at the very heart of the show's message. It is a wonderful, enduring example to all women that friendship is as important as family; that aging can be sexy and fun as well as graceful; and that, if you play it right, life can begin instead of end with menopause.
The Chef does not understand my obsession with these fictional women and their escapades. All that I can say in answer to his perplexity is that I see more of myself and my ways--my curiosity, adventurousness, intelligence, and love-of-life--in those 4 not-so-old ladies than I do in their cardboard-SATC counterparts who are suppose to be my avatars and role-models. Watching 60-somethings demand and take so much enjoyment from life, sans whining entitlement, is the best reminder that we get exactly one whirl-around on this planet: we had best do what we can with it.I think, occasionally, that they may have fuller lives than me, more impressive dance cards, a better-class of adventure. That is all I need to sit up and take action, to demand a little of that life-force for myself. Thanks, ladies, for being the best role-models a girl could have.

Things I Learned Over the Weekend....While I Wasn't Writing

1. 'Baby' sunscreen is just as effective as the regular kind.



2. My father makes his own Kimchee (and, no, we are not Korean).



3. That worrying is a useless diversion. It kills time, effort, and brain-cells. Usually, the things that we are worried about never reach fruition, or are vastly over-blown.



4. A chasm of 35 years can be crossed in 90 seconds.



5. The person who gave birth to me is still my best-friend.



6. It is never too late to have two parents.



7. Brothers, though they are born jack-asses, can be kind of cool.



8. I am still fascinated by bats.



9. Cincinnati is not entirely without its cultural benefits.



10. I am a really phenomenal daughter.



11. Going to the zoo is just as fun now as when I was a little girl. And I still have no interest in petting the goats, thank you.

Photos: Top:"Please,dahlings, no photographs!" Bottom: A stork.

Montreal-Wednesday, 20 September 2006

I am finally getting back to my Untitled Fiction Serial. From this point, I will try to post 1-2 installments a week. In order to make it easier to recognize, it now has its own logo, designed by artist KM Scott. Look for the croissant! Part III follows below.

I probably shouldn't tell you that I am naked as I write this. If I limited that confession to just one line, they would likely edit it out. I will not give them the option: to take the earthiness out of this article would be to gut it clean.

A faint mist has followed me around Montreal for two days,enveloping the length and breadth of my body like a cold, dank cloak. Clothes, after being exposed to the unseasonable chill, to the semi-liquid air, feel like pin-pricks of ice against my skin, uncomfortably crystalline. The overcast afternoons possess an evening-quality, bringing a night-sense with them, hours before the sun sets. My wanderings have been weather-truncated, are temporarily limited to the near-environs of the hotel. In the few ripe hours of my days, I have become intimately acquainted with a lovely stationers, the gift shop of the Museum of Archaeology & History, and a thimble-sized tea-room. For 3 days, I have gamely resisted purchasing dainty sheets of paper and pinned butterflies, throwing all of my sensual indulgence into downing small, steaming cups of Lady Grey tea.

My rainy-day uniform, so pointedly girl-columnist chic, is relaxing fire-side, where I tossed it immediately after closing my door: mint-green tam, purple galoshes, khaki trench-coat. I wish that I could regale you with the romanticisms of a raging wood-fire and pungent smoke, the sharpened dagger-point of a No. 2 pencil and a lined moleskine, a chipped glass and a bottle of Scotch. Instead, I have been tapping away, dictating my thoughts straight into this electric beast, no booze, no paper, no bonhomie.

I am trying to live up to the dreamy, intellectual writer's notions that are always fermenting in the depths of my brain, somewhere between imagination and reality. I discovered, practically as soon as my feet hit the Canadian ground, that it is just as time-consuming here as it was at home. I get bored with the whole endeavour rather quickly. If I truly had the stuff to play a continual game of dress-up, I would be an actor, not a writer. I can dream bursting Technicolor dreams of being Edna St. Vincent Millay, but the living of it is proving tedious.

Yet it is because of Edna St. V of M that I am here, in this foreign-familiar place, attempting to be a writer of fascinating dimensions. She was sent to Paris in 1920 to write for an American publication, a girl-abroad for the very first time. Not even a girl, really, but a woman, fancy-free, digging her heels in, refusing to take-on grown-up responsibility. When you live that wildly, perhaps you do not need to be an adult. Whoever she was--however she was--she was asked to write mildly ridiculous things, to write below herself, to infuse the mundane with her particular genius-disease of vivid, intellectual snarkiness and beautiful syntax: whereas I am probably being asked to write above myself, to learn and sweat my way into some kind of superior capability that someone else believes I possess. Because I, too, live wildly, love words, and wish to sit at some foreign table-side listening to the crazy world flow by, I took this job.

I have, thus far, been forced to shun tables and sidewalks, parks and walkways, due to this damnable weather. I get dressed, circle between the neighborhood shops, and take too much tea. I take tea to go, drinking the hot liquid as I stalk the aisles of that Stationers, lightly thumbing striped paper, dotted paper, floral paper. I take tea in, sitting at a different beaten-up table every time. I doodle things in my notebooks, write stubs of sentences, phrases, descriptives: I find it hard to write in earnest with so many staring eyes, lest I come off as a poseur, someone with nothing better to do than sit idly in a tea-shop writing unimportant,hollow things. My professional attitude is not quite invincible; too many people sit in public writing in notebooks or tapping away on laptops.

Until the weather breaks, clears and rises again, I have many empty hours to fill, many hours to be spent indoors recovering from the mist, getting warm. I expected to be driven indoors for a great Montreal winter, in a few months' time when snow drifts pile up man-high. Instead, I have a blazing electric fire. It lacks ambiance but its heat is potent enough to hit the backs of my thighs, the small of my back, my buttocks, as I stand across the room at the full-length windows. They are street-level, flush with the passers-by,the kind that you can open wide and walk-through, into another world. I push the green velvet black-out curtains aside, winding the fabric across my breasts, my stomach, my hips.

In the gloaming, my eyes alight on the inky-wet pavement, glowing street-lights, and sea of slowly-moving people. When I am awake, this street is never empty, its sounds never dull to anything lower than a murmur or buzz. I am staring out at a moving swirl of people, naked behind the curtain. I wonder how many people see me, if they are focusing on anything but what is at their feet. I am bereft of clothes due to laziness, due to the same mid-evening inertia that has beset the tourists outside my windows. I let the curtain fall, and I realize something.

I turn towards the reading light, towards the radiant warmth of the fireplace that allowed me to remove the coat, hat, boots and, for a few moments, my sense of professional obligation. I cannot, of course, sight-see in inclement weather. I cannot become acquainted with the wider-wonders of Montreal. I cannot write ecstatic articles about places that I have not yet seen. I can ,however, let loose my empathy for the everyday; casting my net lightly across these quaint neighborhood streets, I have been able, for fleeting moments, to glimpse its beating heart.

"When I get a little money, I buy books. And if there is any left over, I buy food."-Desiderius Erasmus

Oops! I Think I Forgot to Tell You.....

....that I will be on holiday for a few days while my Dad visits from out-of-state. I will be posting again on Sunday. Take care and have a very lovely few days!

Ronald Colman Appreciation Society

I will begin this post with a disclaimer. If you do not use Facebook, then you will not be able to fully appreciate what follows. While that saddens me--truly, I feel your pain--I will continue on with my intended subject matter with no compunction whatsoever.

No intelligent person would deny that Facebook is the rancid breeding ground to some acutely ridiculous user-generated 'groups'. Some are flat-out offensive. I believe that those should be treated as one would treat an objectionable television show: don't look at it. Go look at something else, leaving it available for those who enjoy it. There is, however, one group that I have, for some months now, been steadily falling in love with: the Ronald Colman Appreciation Society.

It is swell, it is swoon-worthy, it is visually stunning: it is every type of superlative wrapped into one potently suave package. Ronald Colman is in the top three of my (imaginary) HOLLYWOOD VOICES CANON (along with Fredric March and Claude Rains, but that is the subject for another piece). The RCAS is home to more than 600 Colman photographs, many of them quite rare. It is run by avid fans and collectors, so the passion and dedication comes from the right place. It is simply a venue that allows one to share thoughts, experiences, opinions and memorabilia with like-minded others. As such, it is a small but fantastic little niche of the Facebook community.

The RCAS has definitely reminded me why, when I was new to old movies, I found Colman so appealing as an actor. I initially discovered hims as the handsome half of the romantic on-screen Colman-Banky team. There was so much to discover from there, as his talent manifested itself in so many directions. I read James Hilton's "Lost Horizon" at around this time. I was soon thrilled to realize that Colman played Robert Conway in the classic 1937 film adaptation.I may be a movie fanatic, but I am definitely a read-first, watch-after type of girl. I prefer to paint my own pictures, using the author's words and my imagination. Once that has been set in place, it is only with great difficulty that a film or an actor can supersede my peculiar inner vision. The very idea of thinking of an actor while reading the book is anathema to me. Yet, Ronald Colman is one of the few actors that I associate with a novel. That novel is not "Lost Horizon".

By the time that I watched "A Tale of Two Cities" (1935), I had already read the Dickens book twice; my current tally stands at 4. Even though I followed my own protocol, Ronald Colman is indelibly fused with Sidney Carton. From the moment that I open the front cover, Colman is in my mind. He leaps into my psyche if I so much as think about the book. His portrayal seems more of an inhabitation than an impersonation: it is one of the most fully realized and deeply ingrained in all of cinema. This single achievement--hitched to those remarkable looks, that voice--is reason enough to have a Facebook page devoted to the man.

If you have access, I highly recommend that you stop by the Ronald Colman Appreciation Society and become a fan. You can connect and share with others or, if you are like me,you can simply flip through the magnificent gallery of photos.

Photo Courtesy of Ronald Colman Appreciation Society (Helen Lallo).

R.I.P. Mrs. Slocombe-Technicolor Hair Will Never Recover

If I Were....a Flower-Child (circa 1967)

I would:

1. Seriously cut back on showering and compensate by dousing myself with patchouli-scented unguents.
2. Shop at second-hand stores to find the wildest, mix-and-match old clothes imaginable. Prairie skirt and Edwardian blouse and man's striped vest? Groovy!
3. Let my actions follow my ethics and protest things that bother me.
4. Be a crunchy-granola vegetarian because, hey, there was no other kind then!
5. Spend way too much time listening to music at The Fillmore.
6. Live in a rambling old Victorian with a rotating crew of approximately 13 roommates, many of whom I do not know.
7. Wear flowers in my hair.
8. Have dirty, dirty feet, from never wearing shoes.
9. Sleep with the band (s).
10. Experiment. Ahem.
11. Grow my own food.
12. Paint daisies and peace signs on my face and body.
13. Join a commune.
14. Make things with my hands. Preferably tie-dyed things.
15. Tune in. Turn on. Drop out.