E!Entertainment's Red Carpet with Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic
6:00-6:02-I can really do without Ryan Seacrest's poetic Red Carpet foreplay. Get to the good stuff. Please.
6:02-20 Cameras! Glamcam 360! Autograph cam! Celebrity tweets!Okay, the Glamcam 360 has awesome potential. It allows you to see all aspects of an ensemble, which can be really useful to people like me.
6:03-Why, oh why, is Nene from RHOA attached to Jay Manuel's hip? Granted, she is probably the least annoying Real Housewife of anywhere, but still. First up? Kourtney "the pregnant one" Kardashian. In full-on pregnancy black.
6:06-Heidi Klum. Also pregnant. Also in black--skin-tight, beaded, strapless Marchesa (one of my favourite, exquisite over-priced labels). Her husband, Seal, had no idea who he was wearing. He just threw on a suit. The personal-space defying, handsy Ryan got to the bottom of it....Costume National.
6:20-I love Jason Segal, even though he is the king of the bromance (confession: I have seen 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' at least 8 times).
6:22-I care not one whit for LL Cool J's NCIS spinoff but, 20 years after he captured my teenage heart, he remains man candy...even while wearing a goofy and entirely inappropriate hat with his otherwise classic tuxedo.
6:23-Seth MacFarlane. Man. Tux. Please move on to the women. This is the only reason that we watch the Red Carpet.
6:24-MacFarlane just dropped the F-bomb on live television. I take it all back.
6:25-Forget Megan Fox. Please. Olivia Wilde is the sexiest woman in Hollywood. They just glam-cammed her dress but I really want to see it up close.
6:26-I will never get acclimated to seeing Jamie Kennedy with Jennifer Love Hewitt. This is only slightly better than Mila Kunis with Macauley Culkin.
6:28-Allyson Hannigan. Vera Wang. Strapless. Black. Chopard jewels. I am seeing a theme and methinks I don't like it (although I like the tiered, sweepy effect of the skirt).
6:31-Can I please be Mariska Hargitay when I grow up? Pretty please.
6:32-Jenna Fischer. Beaded. Strapless. Black. Very much a skinny-girl version of Heidi Klum's Marchesa gown.
6:38-Jami-Lynn Siglar. I love the classic, clingy drapiness of her dress but I am not digging the beige-gold non-colour. Ryan is being creepy about her love life. This is never good, Ryan. No one is that interested.
6:41-Why, oh why, is there always someone trying to be nonchalant and ironic at every awards show? It never translates the way that they hope it will. Tonight, that idiot is Judah Friedlander of 30 Rock. Please leave the douchiness at home, along with the ball cap and sloppy outfit.
6: 46-Tracy Pollan. She is wearing a Carolina Herrera that critics will love or hate for its neon lime-green colour. I personally love the unusual, ballsy shade as well as the ruffly details around the bosom. Gorgeous!
6:50-A word to Jay Manuel about glass houses: with that appalling excuse for a tux you are sporting on the red carpet, I had better not see you snarking on badly-dressed Emmy Awards attendees tomorrow. His suit defies explanation. My advice to you is to Google it so that you can see it in all of its oddness.
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