Header

Say hello to the new header. Yes, the changes have started! The new look will be up Tuesday evening. I am really excited to debut the improved 1000 Follies, which will be a lot more cohesive. Until then, take care!

NEW LOOK!! DAILY CONTENT!!MORE TO LOVE!!

1000 Follies is about to become bigger, better, shinier and, well, a lot more reliable! In my non-Internet life, I am extremely organized. I love deciding where things belong, and putting them there. While I believe that people cannot be regimented, projects can...and this one is about to be, in a way that I think you will really dig.
1000 Follies will be divided into 7 weekly segments. In other words, each day of the week will have its own theme, which that day's posts will revolve around. The themes will not change from week to week. Additionally, there will be 6 or 7 smaller features which will appear daily. Got it? I know, I know....it is a lot to take in. You will just have to come back on Sunday, when the new look debuts. You will have to wait and see what the Sunday theme is. Until then, I will post a few odds and ends.

Finis

Joe Strummer-Happy Birthday!

Raise a Toast (to Absent Friends)

"Raise a toast to St. Joe Strummer/I think he might've been our only decent teacher."-"Constructive Summer", The Hold Steady.

I am not writing a lengthy post tonight. I am not working on a story or a review. I am not going to go all literary on you; I'll save that for tomorrow. Business as usual can wait a day. No, tonight I am sitting in my living room, listening to The Clash and drinking a glass of Vodka. That sums up the course of my entire night.

Joe Strummer--one of music's great poets--was born on this date in 1952. He would have been 57. I have raised a toast. Now I am going to down my glass and listen to some more intelligent punk-rock philosophy. Salud!

Changes

For anyone interested, I will be moving my (untitled) fiction serial over to 'A Small Press Life', as I believe it is a better fit there. I will be re-running it before adding the next installment.
I am also thrilled to announce that I have a second blogger writing for me on ASPL. His name is KM Scott. Please take a quick trip over there to check out his stuff and give him a warm welcome. He would really appreciate it.
If you have not been on the other site, I suggest that, in the words of The Chef, you "do it! Do it now!". If you are a writer or any type of creative, you will find something to love there. I promise.
Also, I will be announcing some fabulous new changes to 1000 Follies some time in the next few days. The changes will actually give you more to love, more often. Rest assured, nothing is going away!

Television Shows I (Still) Do Not Give a Fig About

I am incredibly strong-willed. I know my own mind. Oh, and I really hate being told what to do, think, like, or watch. This means that I sometimes have a difficult relationship with the media. The Fall television season is nearly upon us; ads for shows new and returning are inundating TV screens across the country. No matter how hard they try-to brain-wash me into liking, or at least tolerating, their wares there are simply some shows that I just do not care about. Including the following:

1. Real Housewives of.....Anywhere
2. Gossip Girl/NYC Prep/90210
3. Lost
4. Desperate Housewives
5. Big Brother/The Bachelorette
6. Mad Men
7. Entourage
8. Grey's Anatomy
9. Dancing with the Stars
10. America's Next Top Model
11. Heroes

And some that I am actually looking forward to:

1. Top Gear
2. Bones
3. Lie to Me
4. House
5. Fringe
6. Big Bang Theory/How I Met Your Mother
7. Project Runway

"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."-A.A. Milne (the father of Pooh Bear and Eeyore)

Quite Possibly The Chef's Worst Nightmare

Courtesy of pophangover.com.

Toddlers and Tiaras: or, My Weekly Rant

Last night, I made the mistake of not turning the television channel fast enough after "What Not to Wear" ended. This resulted in the 6 most disturbing minutes of my life. Thanks, TLC, I owe you one. I knew, prior to 10 PM Friday night, that "Toddlers and Tiaras" existed. 'Jezebel' does a grand job of mocking and excoriating just about everyone involved with this show. Normally, I skim through the current post, laugh and move on to something of actual intellectual or artistic interest. First off, I must lay the brightest and leafiest of laurels around the neck of the 'Jezebel' writer who actually makes it through an entire episode. I wanted to stab hot needles into my eyes after 6 minutes. Quit pissing me off, pop culture world, and I can go back to writing about books and old movies. Deal?
This particular episode followed the contestants of the Universal Royalty pageant in Texas. Among the tots fighting it out for various crowns and titles? Fraternal twin girls and a 2-week-old boy. Yes, a two-week old destined, I am sure, to be an old pro by elementary school, just like his big brother. (That same big brother supplied the only moment of relief in the entire, condensed train-wreck when he stated that he is going to compete in pageants "until I am in my graveyard.")
There are only 3 reasons that parents enroll their (sometimes) absurdly young children in pageants. 1)For bragging rights 2)For money and 3)To live vicariously. Reason number three is, by the looks of the parents,the prevalent factor: this set of pageant moms is just about the ugliest group of women I have ever seen. If my DVR guide had not told me that this episode is from 2009, I would have thought that it was filmed back in 1987. In a town of particularly hideous inhabitants, where in-breeding was the norm.Harsh? Given that these women (and, occasionally, men) tart their largely unwilling children up to look like aging five-dollar whores and parade them around in show-girl costumes all for the thrill of victory, a chunk of change and a gaudy tiara and sash.....no, I think not.
In case anyone needs further proof that these women are in it for themselves,and care not one whit for the self-esteem of their kids, I present to you the following: the fraternal twins' mother. In spite of a lame attempt to come off as impartial, she favours the out-going, "pretty" twin who, she says, looks "just like me" (which, if this were true, would be most unfortunate). Now, neither girl is a raving beauty but, at 6 years old, this should not be the remotest consideration.Instead, the "plain" daughter (who is, if a judgment must be made, actually prettier) is withdrawn while her "pretty" sister is outgoing. The mother, naturally, sees no corollary between her treatment of them and their personalities. What it comes down to for her, and by extension all 5 of her girls (yes, they all compete), is that pretty-twin wins more titles than plain-twin. Pretty and outgoing=more trophies, more attention. Plain and shy=fewer trophies, less attention. Such a lovely lesson to teach your kids,especially impressionable girls.
There is so much pressure for females to be pretty, perfect, pleasant and outgoing. Once it starts, it follows us all of our lives; we buy into it more than men do. Why should we thrust kids into that process before they can even walk?
Now, I firmly believe that adults should pretty much be allowed to do whatever they want, however bizarre, silly or unfathomable it may be to others. The only caveat, of course, is that it does not harm anyone else. Pageants that, unintentionally or not, prematurely sexualize little ones are just not a good idea. If you are a parent into this kind of thing, you should really step back and honestly ask yourself why you make your kids sing for their supper and your love in such an appalling manner. The rest of us already know that it is not for them, but for you: perhaps you should find a way to pump up your self-esteem before, however inadvertently, destroying theirs. End of rant.

Austen Family Cooks: Snickerdoodles

Okay, so recipes for Snickerdoodles are not that hard to come by. I really love eating these cookies, enjoy making them even more and, at the top of the list, thoroughly love converting people. Apparently, some of you are scared of them. I once had a fellow menswear specialist (this was in another life, seemingly) rave about those "short-bread-y cookies with the sugar and cinnamon on top" that I gave to everyone on the floor. He had no idea that what he was eating was a snickerdoodle. I seldom brag about such things but I happen to have extra-special Snickerdoodle baking ability; mine always taste better than anyone else's.
Snickerdoodles are perfect paired with a cuppa or, if you must, some coffee. Don't let the Cream of Tartar scare you--it is, of course, what gives these cookies their bite and lightness. If it wasn't for these cookies, COT would only be employed part-time to fluff up eggs. Have mercy and make some Snickerdoodles today!

SNICKERDOODLES

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 3/4 cups flour
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cinnamon

Thoroughly mix butter, shortening, sugar and eggs. Blend in flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt. Shape dough into balls. Roll balls into sugar/cinnamon mixture. Bake for 8-10 minutes @ 400 degrees. YUM!!

Obsessive Summer: My Current Addictions

I have been quite the busy writer this Summer. I have a tub-full of ideas swimming around in my mind--many of which are actually reaching fruition. Lest you think that I am chained to my writing desk 20 1/2 hours a day, I thought that I would entertain you with a list of how I am spending my free-time this lovely season. While there are currently 9,000 or so things that I would love to try/do/enjoy, my leisure spells are a bit limited. The following is what I am digging the most right now....and some of them are quite stellar!

1. Amado Sur Wine-It is a heavenly Malbec blend. I am sorry Toasted Head Cabernet but you have been unceremoniously relegated to second place in my affections. Deal with it.
2. Daisy of Love (on VH1)-This one might require some explaining--a vast amount of explaining. It is a strange addiction.It was embarrassing at first to find oneself actually looking forward to this reality show. Daisy De La Hoya was a contestant on 'Rock of Love' last year (which I saw, perhaps, twice). She is not particularly pretty, has more fake than genuine body parts, and is not as stupid as you want her to be. Yes, she is genuinely endearing in a contrived, faux-celebrity way. If that is not reason enough to watch, it features Riki Rachtman (he of MTV's Headbangers Ball) as some sort of mentor/voice of reason and a slew of ridiculous potential 'love' matches. As with most VH1 reality programs, they were gifted with nicknames during the first episode. Although the season finale aired on the 26th, check out the repeats to become acquainted with such winners as Twelve Pack, Cable Guy, Dropout, Fox and, um, Six Gauge.
3. Colin Hay-This one is bound to redeem my taste. I still have not come down from the Colin Hay concert that I was taken to (as a surprise) for my birthday last month. Yes, that Colin Hay....he was the lead singer of 'Men at Work'. His career has really blossomed in the last 15 years or so, as he has embraced a more low-key troubadour style. He travels around doing acoustic shows that perfectly highlight his wonderful voice and exceptional song-writing skills. His tenth solo album drops on the 19th of this month. Buy it!
4. Pastry Crust-I don't think there is one among you not aware of my newly-discovered pie-making skills. I have also been on an empanada making spree, which I use a slightly different recipe for. I love making pastry because it is so physically hands-on and comes with almost instant results (and reward)--making it much different than writing.
5. Farm Town on FACEBOOK-Okay, so I am just about the least-country person imaginable. I am urban to the core. I have no desire to relocate to the sticks, milk cows and raise crops. Yet, none of those things stops this silly application from being absolutely addicting.
6. Tattoos-Specifically the tattoo that I will be getting some time soon (that is the plan, anyway). As soon as I decide where to have it done. Me being me, it is literary in nature--my preferred translation of a line of Pablo Neruda's poetry. Want to know what it is? Just ask!
7. The Golden Girls-This is nothing new but I have been enjoying the extended Monday and Saturday evening marathons on We. Enough said.
8. Social Networking-This is something of a necessary evil for anyone who does free-lance work. The need to market myself means that I must be super-organized so that I don't spread myself too thin. I just joined 'Thirty-Something Bloggers' a few days ago. It is not a particularly high-traffic network but, as such, it won't be too taxing on my time. It is passive self-pimping, really. Add in FACEBOOK and Plaxo and ETSY and I have a nicely growing little professional network.
9. Eva Cassidy-I am still loving her version of 'Fields of Gold'. It instantly puts me in a serene mood, much as 'Beautiful World' by Colin Hay does. I can easily listen to it 3 or 4 times in a row.
10. Chicken Lays an Egg-This one is Cincinnati-centric. In fact,it is about 2 blocks from my flat. It is a closet-sized vintage hodge-podge of a shop that is slightly out of place in my very industrial neighborhood. It opened last Autumn, and only does business on Saturdays. They have the most tempting window and sidewalk displays. Since it is so compact, you do not have to waste hours going through rack after rack of crap in an effort to find one or two gems.
11. Proust-I have always enjoyed flipping open any Proust book and reading random pages. Though apparently not for everyone, Proust created some of the most sublime sentences in any language. I truly believe this...and not just because I had the good taste to be born on the good man's birthday!
12. The 1920's-I have always been a history buff. When you mix that with my love of classic film, retro pop culture, feminism and fashion, the result is that, at heart, I am a neo-Flapper. I re-discovered the delightful Nancy Carroll a couple of months ago (entirely coincidentally, I am currently sporting a dead-on NC hairstyle), which helped me fall in amour with my favourite decade all over again.
13. Radiation Cinema-Science Fiction has never been my cup of tea. Yet, after working for a sci-fi based magazine (and living with a science fiction connoisseur for these last few years)I have found things to appreciate in the genre. I am, however, fond of the bizarre, the outsider, and 1950's films. Enter Mykal Banta's 'Radiation Cinema'. I am not going to spend paragraphs telling you about it(though I surely could). Just trust my recommendation. Aside from the snazzy concept, it is well-written, interesting and visually stunning.
14. Liebemarlene Vintage(EBAY)-This Georgia girl sources out and sells fabulous vintage clothing from the 'forties through the dawn of grunge. She carries an amazing assortment of dresses, all of which start out for the reasonable base bid of $14.99. Her auctions run from Thursday to Thursday. I currently have my eyes on a darling green day dress from the 'seventies. Wish me luck!
15. 'Zining-I love the hands-on, tactile aspect of 'zining. I am in the race-to-the finish of compiling my next offering. I am doing updates on the process over on my other site, 'A Small Press Life'. Since this is a professional endeavour, it probably should not have a place on this list....but I am having such feverish fun that sometimes it feels like I am playing!
16. My Creative Philosophy-I am quite passionate about living a small press life. I am an indie artist all of the way-consciously, happily and without regret. I am overjoyed every day that I am allowed to wake up and do what I do, and thankful that there are people who think it is interesting, intriguing or beautiful. Thanks!