Last night, I made the mistake of not turning the television channel fast enough after "What Not to Wear" ended. This resulted in the 6 most disturbing minutes of my life. Thanks, TLC, I owe you one. I knew, prior to 10 PM Friday night, that "Toddlers and Tiaras" existed. 'Jezebel' does a grand job of mocking and excoriating just about everyone involved with this show. Normally, I skim through the current post, laugh and move on to something of actual intellectual or artistic interest. First off, I must lay the brightest and leafiest of laurels around the neck of the 'Jezebel' writer who actually makes it through an entire episode. I wanted to stab hot needles into my eyes after 6 minutes. Quit pissing me off, pop culture world, and I can go back to writing about books and old movies. Deal?
This particular episode followed the contestants of the Universal Royalty pageant in Texas. Among the tots fighting it out for various crowns and titles? Fraternal twin girls and a 2-week-old boy. Yes, a two-week old destined, I am sure, to be an old pro by elementary school, just like his big brother. (That same big brother supplied the only moment of relief in the entire, condensed train-wreck when he stated that he is going to compete in pageants "until I am in my graveyard.")
There are only 3 reasons that parents enroll their (sometimes) absurdly young children in pageants. 1)For bragging rights 2)For money and 3)To live vicariously. Reason number three is, by the looks of the parents,the prevalent factor: this set of pageant moms is just about the ugliest group of women I have ever seen. If my DVR guide had not told me that this episode is from 2009, I would have thought that it was filmed back in 1987. In a town of particularly hideous inhabitants, where in-breeding was the norm.Harsh? Given that these women (and, occasionally, men) tart their largely unwilling children up to look like aging five-dollar whores and parade them around in show-girl costumes all for the thrill of victory, a chunk of change and a gaudy tiara and sash.....no, I think not.
In case anyone needs further proof that these women are in it for themselves,and care not one whit for the self-esteem of their kids, I present to you the following: the fraternal twins' mother. In spite of a lame attempt to come off as impartial, she favours the out-going, "pretty" twin who, she says, looks "just like me" (which, if this were true, would be most unfortunate). Now, neither girl is a raving beauty but, at 6 years old, this should not be the remotest consideration.Instead, the "plain" daughter (who is, if a judgment must be made, actually prettier) is withdrawn while her "pretty" sister is outgoing. The mother, naturally, sees no corollary between her treatment of them and their personalities. What it comes down to for her, and by extension all 5 of her girls (yes, they all compete), is that pretty-twin wins more titles than plain-twin. Pretty and outgoing=more trophies, more attention. Plain and shy=fewer trophies, less attention. Such a lovely lesson to teach your kids,especially impressionable girls.
There is so much pressure for females to be pretty, perfect, pleasant and outgoing. Once it starts, it follows us all of our lives; we buy into it more than men do. Why should we thrust kids into that process before they can even walk?
Now, I firmly believe that adults should pretty much be allowed to do whatever they want, however bizarre, silly or unfathomable it may be to others. The only caveat, of course, is that it does not harm anyone else. Pageants that, unintentionally or not, prematurely sexualize little ones are just not a good idea. If you are a parent into this kind of thing, you should really step back and honestly ask yourself why you make your kids sing for their supper and your love in such an appalling manner. The rest of us already know that it is not for them, but for you: perhaps you should find a way to pump up your self-esteem before, however inadvertently, destroying theirs. End of rant.
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